Talking Stage Wahala: Why are Nigerian youths so afraid of commitment?

As Nigerians, we’re seeing so many kinds of shege these days, but it seems the most crippling of them comes in romantic relationships.

No wonder many young people are skeptical about complete commitment. It hasn’t always been so. Romantic relationships used to be a dream for many people, and most people don’t care why their previous relationships ended.

They just wanted to start another beautiful relationship and make things right.

But what changed?

Shege happened!

ALSO READ: How to deal with a talking stage who’s using you as a ‘spare tire’

While relationship shege has always existed, they are more prevalent now. Thus, Nigerian youths are becoming increasingly afraid to commit.

They’d rather jump from one talking stage to another, and this begs for an answer to the question – why!

Here, let’s focus on explaining some obvious reasons talking stages don’t result in real relationships these days.

1. Trust Issues on Steroids

With relationships becoming less sacred and more selfish, it’s not surprising that trust has become more scarce than ever before. Everyone has been played at one point in their life or another, and they let these issues linger in their hearts. So instead of diving deep, most people tread water, half in, half out. It’s safer that way, right?

2. Trauma from Past Relationships

Heartbreak is the national anthem. Ghosting, cheating, and breadcrumbs are the order of the day. These things leave scars, and unsurprisingly, the scars can influence people’s reactions in future relationships. Many young Nigerians carry unhealed wounds from past flings, and rather than risk pain again, they opt for endless talking stages. No labels, no expectations, no heartbreak. Just vibe along.

3. Fear of Being Vulnerable

Opening up emotionally in Nigerian culture can feel like weakness, especially for men. Society often tells you to “man up” even when your emotions should take charge. So naturally, you learn to suppress your feelings. Even when the feelings try to spring up, you bury them under jokes, sarcasm, and awkward detachment.

4. Economic Wahala is Real

ALSO READ: 4 reasons nobody likes the talking stage

Let’s face it – relationships cost money. Data. Dates. Gifts. And in this economy, where jollof rice is a luxury and rent is a prayer point, many Gen Z Nigerians feel like love is a luxury they can’t afford. This is why you’ll often hear young people talk about financial stability before committing to any romantic relationship. But the question is, how much stability is enough stability? I guess we’ll never know!

5. Social Media Pressure

On Instagram, love looks like #Baecation and matching pajamas. But in real life? It’s awkward conversations, conflict resolution, and commitment. One look at the luxurious life people portray, and you can get scared of diving in. You suddenly feel like you’re not ready to offer someone’s daughter that level of filtered fantasy.