{"id":917551,"date":"2026-07-04T21:22:19","date_gmt":"2026-07-05T02:22:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2026\/07\/04\/7-nigerian-men-share-the-cost-of-being-the-man-of-the-house\/"},"modified":"2026-07-04T21:22:19","modified_gmt":"2026-07-05T02:22:19","slug":"7-nigerian-men-share-the-cost-of-being-the-man-of-the-house","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2026\/07\/04\/7-nigerian-men-share-the-cost-of-being-the-man-of-the-house\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Nigerian Men Share the Cost of Being the \u201cMan of the House\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Nobody prepares you for the moment your parents become your dependents. For many Nigerian men, becoming the \u201cman of the house\u201d means paying rent, funding siblings, covering emergencies and carrying entire households before they\u2019ve had a chance to build their own lives.\u00a0<\/p>\n

For Men\u2019s Mental Health Awareness Month, we spoke to seven men about the financial and mental cost of being everyone\u2019s safety net.<\/p>\n

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\u201cI became the \u2018man of the house\u2019 at 19\u201d \u2014 Jamal*, 29<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I was 19 when my dad went to prison for workplace fraud. The shock contributed to my mum\u2019s stroke, which left her unable to walk properly. As the first of five children, everyone looked to me to provide.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I was in 200 level, but I had to start random hustles to make sure we survived. At one point, I worked in a poultry farm during the day and did security work at night. While my classmates were talking about girlfriends, I was calculating the cost of school fees and my mum\u2019s blood pressure meds. My dad was released two years ago, but I\u2019m still the breadwinner.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve inherited my dad\u2019s responsibilities\u201d \u2014 Jeremiah*, 26\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n

My dad sort of handed over the \u201cprovider\u201d baton to me after I passed out from NYSC. This is mostly my fault. My first job was remote and paid in dollars, and I excitedly told my dad about it. More foolishly, I gave him half of my first salary (about \u20a6500k) as a gesture of appreciation for funding my life up to that point.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s how the billing started.\u00a0<\/p>\n

He started expecting an allowance every month. He\u2019d ask me, \u201cThey haven\u2019t paid you?\u201d when I delayed sending him money.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Now, whenever my siblings ask him for money, he sends them to me. Last year, I paid our \u20a61.8 million house rent. It was supposed to be a loan, but he hasn\u2019t repaid me yet. It\u2019s exhausting because I should be planning for my future, but I\u2019m inheriting bills.<\/p>\n

\u201c40% of my salary goes to black tax\u201d \u2014 Ben*, 28<\/strong><\/h2>\n

In 2021, my parents invested almost everything into a business partnership with a family friend. The friend disappeared with the money. The stress nearly destroyed my parents. It completely destroyed their finances.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I was a 23-year-old final-year university student when the whole thing happened.\u00a0 My plan to pursue a master\u2019s abroad immediately went down the drain. Instead, I focused on getting a job as soon as possible to support my home. It\u2019s been five years, and now, 40% of my salary goes to my parents and younger sister.<\/p>\n

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\u201cI\u2019m not the firstborn, but since I\u2019m a man, there are expectations\u201d \u2014 Kingsley*, 29<\/strong><\/h2>\n

My phone notifications are my biggest source of anxiety. Since my dad retired from the police force six years ago, every call from home has either been about hospital bills, rent or a family emergency.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It\u2019s wild because I\u2019m not even the firstborn. I have an older sister, but as a man, the expectations just fell on me. Two years ago, I tried a thing where I said no to every request and stubbornly refused to send money, but my mum called me crying that they hadn\u2019t eaten for days. I had to start sending money again.\u00a0<\/p>\n

These days, I try to keep it to a \u20a680k monthly allowance for my parents and lock up whenever new requests come in. Sometimes, though, emergencies come, and my strategy to limit my black tax fails.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI provide for my sister and her baby\u201d \u2014 Mike*, 27<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I lost my dad when I was 4, so I\u2019ve been hustling for as long as I can remember to supplement whatever money my mum manages to give me. Once I started earning a reasonable income at 20, I naturally took on most of the household bills.<\/p>\n

Recently, my financial responsibilities have increased. My younger sister, who had a baby, isn\u2019t on good terms with the baby\u2019s daddy. So, she and the baby now live with my mum and me. I\u2019m spending a fortune on diapers, baby food and clothes. I don\u2019t really mind because it\u2019s my sister. However, I sometimes can\u2019t help thinking about the fact that I earn \u20a61.5 million\/month and have zero savings.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t wait to have the final say on my own money\u201d \u2014 Caleb*, 22<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I\u2019m my parents\u2019 retirement plan. They don\u2019t say it outright, but it\u2019s obvious in the way they plan my money for me. My dad says things like \u201cwhen your salary comes, help us with X amount so we can do so and so,\u201d or \u201cLet\u2019s try to pay for XX by month\u2019s end.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t object because I work with a family friend, and everyone knows how much I earn. I can\u2019t wait to leave this house and get another job so I can have the final say on what to do with my own money.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s hard, but I\u2019m glad I can support my family\u201d \u2014 Nonso*, 35<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I\u2019ve been the breadwinner since I was 18 after my dad left our family in Nigeria to marry another woman abroad.<\/p>\n

I did several odd jobs for years to keep my sisters in uni and support my mum\u2019s petty trading income. I never went to uni myself, but I now run a successful business and still support my family. It gets hard at times, especially when I think about the fact that I can\u2019t spend anyhow because of the people depending on me. But I know my sisters see my sacrifices and are incredibly grateful to me.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The oldest one changed my car tyres a few months ago and comes to my place randomly to cook for me. I have a wonderful family, and I\u2019m glad I can support them.<\/p>\n

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*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.<\/em><\/p>\n

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NEXT READ: \u201cShe Secretly Used My Card\u201d \u2014 8 Nigerian Men Share Their Most Financially Demanding Relationships<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

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Boluwatife Oni
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Nobody prepares you for the moment your parents become your dependents. For many Nigerian men, becoming the \u201cman of the house\u201d means paying rent, funding siblings, covering emergencies and carrying entire households before they\u2019ve had a chance to build their own lives.\u00a0 For Men\u2019s Mental Health Awareness Month, we spoke to seven men about the<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":917552,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21999,1217],"tags":[14533,8649],"class_list":["post-917551","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-nigerian","category-share","tag-nigerian","tag-share"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/917551","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=917551"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/917551\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/917552"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=917551"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=917551"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=917551"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}