{"id":897281,"date":"2026-04-06T09:19:58","date_gmt":"2026-04-06T14:19:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/06\/my-co-worker-is-ignoring-a-major-part-of-her-health-were-all-worse-off-because-of-it\/"},"modified":"2026-04-06T09:19:58","modified_gmt":"2026-04-06T14:19:58","slug":"my-co-worker-is-ignoring-a-major-part-of-her-health-were-all-worse-off-because-of-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/06\/my-co-worker-is-ignoring-a-major-part-of-her-health-were-all-worse-off-because-of-it\/","title":{"rendered":"My Co-Worker Is Ignoring a Major Part of Her Health. We\u2019re All Worse Off Because of It."},"content":{"rendered":"
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Good Job<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s very disruptive.<\/h2>\n<\/header>\n
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\nPhoto illustration by Slate. Photo by mheim3011\/Getty Images Plus.\u00a0<\/span>
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Good Job<\/em><\/a>\u00a0is Slate\u2019s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small?\u00a0<\/em>Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here<\/strong><\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am on a three-person team (me, one co-worker, and our boss) in a larger office suite. My co-worker, \u201cAlyssa,\u201d joined the office a few months ago. As far as I can tell, she is significantly hard of hearing but doesn\u2019t use any hearing aid. I\u2019ve tried to train myself to speak loudly and clearly with her (I have family who are going deaf, I get it), but she still often misses part of what I say.<\/p>\n

Moreover, it seems to be negatively impacting her work. She serves as the front desk person for our suite, which receives a lot of foot traffic from visitors. I\u2019m the backup front desk coverage, and I sit within earshot of her. All day long, I hear her ask people to repeat themselves multiple times. The same thing happens when the executives we assist approach her. She also doesn\u2019t seem to notice when someone is in her peripheral vision, so sometimes, someone will be standing by the front desk for up to several minutes, introducing themselves too softly for her to hear, while I am hearing everything, wanting to tear my hair out. Having conversations at the volume she requires is disruptive to everyone else in the office, because sound carries to everyone\u2019s cubicles\/offices, and sometimes people are trying to discuss semi-confidential matters.<\/p>\n

I definitely don\u2019t want to appear ableist or ageist (I\u2019m in my late-20s and Alyssa is around 60). I am also trying to distinguish between work-related frustration and personal resentment, because I don\u2019t get along well with her for other reasons, and I think she and our boss aren\u2019t unaware of that (mostly, I find her personality abrasive and hard to communicate with, even when it\u2019s not a hearing problem). Aside from this, I have a great relationship with my boss, but she\u2019s very hands-off. I tried to ask her to intervene in another minor conflict between Alyssa and me, but she wanted me to resolve it myself. Is there any way I can possibly gently suggest to Alyssa, our boss, or human resources that she might benefit from some kind of hearing assistance or accommodation? I know that normally this would be none of my business, but I really think it\u2019s disrupting our workflow at the office.<\/p>\n

\u2014Vexed By Volume<\/p>\n

Dear Vexed By Volume,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Office noises can be quite disruptive, but you\u2019re right that any discussion about Alyssa\u2019s hearing should be handled delicately. That\u2019s especially true with a hands-off boss who already dismissed your previous conflict with Alyssa.<\/p>\n

Try asking your boss for advice about how to handle some of the problems you describe. The next time a semi-confidential meeting is audible to the rest of the office, bring your concern to your boss. Ask if your team could get access to a more isolated or soundproofed meeting room for future discussions. If your boss works behind an office door, she might not notice that Alyssa often misses visitors who are trying to get her attention. What would your boss like you to do in those situations? Jump up and introduce Alyssa? Would it be helpful to install an old-timey bell for people to ring, like at the front desk of a hotel? Could you hook up a doorbell to the front door of your suite? Make it clear that you want to help Alyssa, but don\u2019t want to get in her way. The subtext, of course, is that you have plenty of other work and don\u2019t want to turn away from it to do Alyssa\u2019s job\u2014unless your boss asks you to.<\/p>\n

If your boss waves your concerns away, you could ask Alyssa for her preference. Don\u2019t mention hearing loss, just say that sometimes you notice visitors before she does, and you\u2019d like to know how to handle those situations in a way that\u2019s helpful to her.<\/p>\n

If Alyssa does have hearing loss, she might not know it or might be in denial. (That\u2019s pretty common<\/a>.) Her friends, family, or healthcare providers should be the ones to encourage her to get her hearing tested. If you suggest it, especially with a history of friction between the two of you, she might dig in. (To anyone reading this who has a friend or family member with possible hearing loss, please encourage them to get tested<\/a>. As one of my loved ones who finally got hearing aids, and wished he\u2019d gotten them sooner, said: \u201cEverybody stopped mumbling!\u201d)<\/p>\n

Do consult with human resources, but go in with low expectations. They might be able to push for more soundproofed meeting rooms. Or they might be willing to circulate a reminder to staff about some of the services covered by your workplace insurance plan, including, presumably, hearing aids.<\/p>\n

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\n Please keep questions short (150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am routinely told by the editors at the newspaper I work at that my work sparkles, that they value the contributions I make, and that I have what it takes to step up into a management role. Yet, the last two times I applied to be a low-level manager, I was turned away in favor of an outside candidate. Both times, the process was taxing on me, and only led to little more than a shrug and a \u201cThanks for playing\u201d with no real feedback as to why I was passed over. There is a growing disconnect between what they say about my work and ability and how I get treated in these processes. What are my options here? I make good money for media, and I don\u2019t necessarily want to give that up on a jump into the great unknown.<\/p>\n

\u2014Tired of Being Passed Over<\/p>\n

Dear Tired of Being Passed Over,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do keep trying. You know how competitive jobs are, especially in journalism, and losing out on two positions isn\u2019t necessarily a reflection of your abilities. But ask for feedback. It\u2019s pretty common for hiring managers to avoid discussing a hire once they\u2019ve picked their candidate.\u00a0 They\u2019re sick of talking about it, for one\u2014hiring is a long and often contentious process. They may feel guilty or awkward that they didn\u2019t hire you, or expect you to be irritated with them. The hiring process is supposed to be confidential (although gossip often slips through), and they may be respecting everyone\u2019s privacy.<\/p>\n

You can get around these limitations, though. Ask for a meeting with one of the people involved in the hiring process, ideally someone who also encouraged you to apply. Thank them for considering you for the position. It is a big accomplishment to get to the interview process, even if that makes not getting chosen for the job sting even more. Say with real or feigned enthusiasm that you are looking forward to working with the person they did hire. Then ask for advice on how to position yourself for a future opening. Are there any big projects you could support? Any editing work you could take on? If you see needs that aren\u2019t being met, even if they\u2019re not part of your job, offer to help. Hiring managers love evidence of innovation and leadership, so look for opportunities to try new things or pull together groups for ambitious projects.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re up for it, befriend the new hires too. They\u2019ve just been plopped into a new workplace and don\u2019t know the culture or the software systems. Offer to help. Express genuine curiosity about their careers, without prying or resentment. Some workplaces prefer to hire outside candidates for the perspective they bring (and to poach talent from the competition). You can learn a lot from the people who got these two jobs. Extra selfishly, they may become members of hiring committees that consider you for future positions.<\/p>\n

Slate Plus members get\u00a0more<\/em>\u00a0Good Job\u00a0every week.\u00a0<\/em>Sign up now<\/em><\/a>\u00a0to read Laura Helmuth\u2019s\u00a0additional column this week.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a man at my office whose body odor is foul enough to make skunks run for the hills.\u00a0 Management has done nothing, and my entire department is at our wits\u2019 (and noses!) end. What is the best option: confronting him as a group, choosing someone to speak for all of us, or an anonymous basket full of deodorant sticks on his desk?<\/p>\n

\u2014BO Bothered<\/p>\n

Dear BO Bothered,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry for your suffering, but unfortunately, none of those options would make a good first step. This is a question for human resources, which should consult with your legal department. You don\u2019t speculate about the cause of your colleague\u2019s BO. It could be a simple lack of awareness (people get accustomed to odors, after all). But it could be related to a medical condition or religious practice, and your company needs to be wary of discriminating against this guy<\/a>. It\u2019s possible your company has existing policies about office attire and grooming that would cover body odor. (These policies have historically perpetuated racist and sexist standards for personal presentation, but some workplaces enforce them, especially if your company works directly with clients.) They might be able to offer reasonable accommodations for your colleague to manage his BO or its diffusion through the office. In any case, let your company\u2019s experts handle it.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s be realistic. Your company\u2019s experts might not<\/em> handle it\u2014they might decide the miasma in your department isn\u2019t worth the trouble of a difficult discussion, embarrassed employee, or potential lawsuit. You could suggest rearranging the office workspaces in a way that just so happens to put your colleague farther away from other desks and any vents that blow his BO around the office. You could bring in aromatic houseplants<\/a> or bouquets of flowers to cover the smell, or regularly spray air freshener. Has your office upgraded its ventilation system since the pandemic began? If not, or if you\u2019re not sure, ask the office managers to assess your indoor air quality and improve ventilation, which is refreshing anyway<\/a> and can reduce the concentration of airborne viruses<\/a>. If your office has windows that open, let in some fresh air when the weather\u2019s nice. Semi-seriously, you could bring back the fashion of carrying or wearing nosegays<\/a>, small bouquets of flowers that help cover unpleasant smells.<\/p>\n

\u2014Laura<\/span><\/p>\n

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More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n<\/h3>\n

My parents are in their mid-70s and have five dogs\u2014all rescues. Recently, they decided to change their will so that if they should both die at the same time their dogs will be cared for by a dog sitter who will live in their home, rent-free. All utilities and taxes will be paid for by the estate. In addition, this dog sitter will receive a per diem salary until the last dog has crossed the rainbow bridge. I\u2019ve known about this for a few weeks and have kind of just rolled my eyes about it. My brother found out the other day (I thought he already knew)\u2026<\/a><\/p>\n

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