{"id":892990,"date":"2026-03-20T02:23:50","date_gmt":"2026-03-20T07:23:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2026\/03\/20\/love-currency-im-a-heavy-saver-but-hes-an-impulse-spender\/"},"modified":"2026-03-20T02:23:50","modified_gmt":"2026-03-20T07:23:50","slug":"love-currency-im-a-heavy-saver-but-hes-an-impulse-spender","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2026\/03\/20\/love-currency-im-a-heavy-saver-but-hes-an-impulse-spender\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Currency: \u201cI\u2019m a Heavy Saver, but He\u2019s an Impulse Spender\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In\u00a0<\/strong>Love Currency<\/strong><\/a>, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship?\u00a0If yes,\u00a0click here<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

How long have you been with your partner?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

My boyfriend, Francis, and I started dating in July 2025, so that\u2019s about seven months.<\/p>\n

How did you meet?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

We met when I visited Lagos to attend an older friend\u2019s wedding. The Sunday after the wedding, I attended the couple\u2019s thanksgiving at the groom\u2019s church as well.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Francis was one of the church\u2019s instrumentalists, and he approached me at the end of the service. He said he liked how well I danced and wanted to be my friend. I was reluctant because of what people typically say about church instrumentalists: how they share heartbreak everywhere. Still, I thought he looked good and decided to give him a chance for the plot. If it didn\u2019t work out, I could say a fine boy broke my heart.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m screaming. But he was just offering friendship, right?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Everybody knows \u201cI want to be your friend\u201d is code for \u201cI like you, but I don\u2019t want to say it yet.\u201d Especially when it\u2019s coming from a guy.<\/p>\n

I guess I can\u2019t fault that. When did romance enter the picture?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Almost immediately. After exchanging numbers, we chatted on WhatsApp for a couple of days, and then he officially asked me to be his girlfriend.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I almost didn\u2019t accept because I\u2019d already returned home to Akure. He lived in Lagos, and I\u2019d never tried a long-distance relationship. It helped that he came to Akure to take me out on a date and make a physical version of the girlfriend proposal. I thought that was romantic.\u00a0<\/p>\n

How have you both been navigating the distance?\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Francis doesn\u2019t let me really feel the distance. He travels to see me here at least twice a month. I live with my sister\u2019s family, but whenever Francis visits, I tell her I\u2019m spending the night with a friend so I can stay with him \u2014 he has a friend here who is kind enough to let us both sleep in his room. I have a feeling my sister knows I go to see my boyfriend, but thankfully, she\u2019s pretty cool and doesn\u2019t give me wahala.<\/p>\n

Besides visits, we also do a lot of calls and texts. It\u2019s just like a regular relationship; the only difference is all the planning that goes into seeing each other.<\/p>\n

Who handles these travel expenses?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Francis does. One trip costs approximately \u20a620k to and fro, minus other small expenses like taking bikes and buses within Akure. Sometimes, when he comes around, we go to eateries or the cinema, and he pays for those dates too. However, we mostly stay indoors, and I handle the cooking.\u00a0<\/p>\n

To be honest, I\u2019ve been trying to get him to cut down on the trips. I know he gets paid to play instruments at the church and also makes money from his freelance graphic design hustle, but I feel the regular trips are a waste of money. He spends at least \u20a660k every month on our relationship, and I don\u2019t think he earns more than \u20a6200k. I can\u2019t imagine spending like that.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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I guess he disagrees with cutting down the trips?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

It\u2019s funny. When I raise concerns about money and suggest that he travel only once per month, he\u2019ll actually agree. Then, a few days later, I\u2019ll hear he\u2019s on a bus heading to Akure. He can be quite impulsive like that.<\/p>\n

On the one hand, I like seeing him regularly, but on the other hand, I can\u2019t encourage him to come all the time because of the cost. Hopefully, we will find a solution to the distance soon.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I\u2019m currently on the hunt for Lagos-based jobs so I can have a reason to move and be closer to him. My current job is with a Lagos-based company, but it\u2019s remote. Also, I can\u2019t live comfortably in Lagos on a \u20a6150k salary. So, I\u2019m hoping to get something with better pay so I can afford rent.<\/p>\n

Rooting for you. What kind of conversations do you and Francis have about money?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Recently, it\u2019s mostly been me trying to educate him about the importance of saving and really thinking through financial decisions before making them.\u00a0<\/p>\n

He\u2019s a very impulsive spender, and I only discovered that about four months ago. Someone at his church gave him \u20a6500k, and that same day, he used it to trade his phone for an iPhone 14. When he told me what he had done, I was so confused.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Before that money came, he had been complaining about electricity issues at his place, and I suggested he buy a mini power station for backup. How come the first thought that came to his mind after getting free money was a phone? When I told him that, he was like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s true. I completely forgot.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

This is just one example of his money habits, and it\u2019s the one thing about him I\u2019m struggling to get used to because of how very different we are in that regard. I\u2019m a heavy saver. I only spend like 20% of my salary each month and save the rest on Piggyvest. My default setting is to save whatever money enters my hands. It\u2019s strange to be with someone whose default setting is to spend money.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Do you think the difference in money habits could be a dealbreaker?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

It\u2019s mostly just an annoying trait for now, not that it\u2019s affecting our relationship itself. It\u2019s not really a big problem. I imagine we\u2019ll need to address it properly as the years go by. But for now, I\u2019m just doing my best to caution him where necessary.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You mentioned only spending 20% of your monthly income. Does that include a budget for relationship expenses?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I don\u2019t spend a lot of money in our relationship. Like I mentioned, the most I do is cook for Francis a few times, and the highest I spend is \u20a610k. This is probably my own red flag, but I don\u2019t like spending money.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I like the idea of seeing money in my account, so I only touch my account when it\u2019s absolutely necessary. Also, my salary is quite poor, so I believe it makes sense to limit my expenses as much as possible and build up a safety net while I look for better income options.<\/p>\n

Francis is the giver in the relationship. Besides the trips and occasional dates, he sends me airtime and data sometimes, usually around \u20a65k. He also buys me small gifts when he visits, like earrings and perfume.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What does your safety net look like?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I have \u20a62.2m in my savings. I\u2019ve been building this since 2022, so it should really be more than that. I\u2019ve had to dip into it a few times to handle emergencies.<\/p>\n

Do you know if Francis has a safety net?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I\u2019m sure he doesn\u2019t. I\u2019m still trying to get him to save sef.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s your ideal financial future as a couple?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

It\u2019ll be nice to be able to afford a couple\u2019s vacation outside the country one day.<\/p>\n

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship?\u00a0If yes,\u00a0click here<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.<\/em><\/p>\n

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NEXT READ: I Never Should Have Agreed to a 50\/50 Partnership<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Tife Oni
Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In\u00a0 Love Currency , we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities. Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship?\u00a0If yes,\u00a0click here. How long have you been with your partner?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":892991,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23191,37025],"tags":[18332,17397],"class_list":{"0":"post-892990","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-currency","8":"category-im","9":"tag-currency","10":"tag-im"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/892990","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=892990"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/892990\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/892991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=892990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=892990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=892990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}