{"id":887098,"date":"2026-01-22T20:26:12","date_gmt":"2026-01-23T02:26:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/22\/happy-halloween-the-best-horror-movie-monsters\/"},"modified":"2026-01-22T20:26:12","modified_gmt":"2026-01-23T02:26:12","slug":"happy-halloween-the-best-horror-movie-monsters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/22\/happy-halloween-the-best-horror-movie-monsters\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy \u2018Halloween\u2019: The Best Horror-Movie Monsters"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<p>Halloween is on Saturday. We really like Halloween.<span data-footnote-id=\"1\" data-footnote-url=\"#fn-1\" data-footnote-content=\"&lt;p&gt;Halloween is the second-most underappreciated holiday, losing out only to Thanksgiving, the ignored middle child of the holiday season.&lt;\/p&gt;\n\"><sup id=\"ss-1\">1<\/sup><\/span> And so we are going to use the upcoming holiday as an excuse to talk about horror-movie monsters for the next 4,500 words. But the whole point of this isn\u2019t just to meander around the graveyard, it\u2019s to figure out who the greatest horror-movie monster is. There are some rules in place to make this a more feasible task:<\/p>\n<p><b>Rule 1: The monster has to be an actual monster<\/b>. It can\u2019t just be a person who is horrible and kills a lot of people. We\u2019re talking literal monsters here, not figurative ones. To be clear, you can have the human form, but you have to be more than <em>just<\/em> a human. For example, guys like Jason Voorhees (<em>Friday the 13th<\/em>) or Freddy Krueger (<em>A Nightmare on Elm Street<\/em>) \u2014 they have human forms, but they\u2019re undead demons of some kind, so that means they\u2019re monsters. Meanwhile, guys like Hannibal Lecter or Norman Bates or Jigsaw \u2014 just boring, old regular humans who kill and kill and kill \u2014 are out. The only exceptions we\u2019re making here are for Michael Myers from the <em>Halloween<\/em> franchise because he has exhibited superhuman strength enough times to make his status as a regular human legitimately questionable, and Leatherface from the <em>Texas Chainsaw Massacre<\/em> franchise because he\u2019s the best example of someone being a monster while not actually being a monster.<\/p>\n<p><b>Rule 2: The monster can\u2019t be a real animal<\/b>. If it\u2019s a real animal you can find in a zoo, it\u2019s eliminated from consideration. Size doesn\u2019t matter, either; could be 10 feet tall, could be 100 feet tall, makes no difference. That means there\u2019s no Jaws, there\u2019s no <i>Lake Placid<\/i> crocodile, there are no razorback pigs from <i>Razorback<\/i>, no animals like that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Rule 3: The monster can\u2019t be a benevolent monster<\/b>. We\u2019re only talking about monsters who are out for blood and death and gore. Benevolent monsters are boring and dumb and why are you even a monster if you\u2019re not trying to tear someone\u2019s arms from their body. FOH, Harry from <i>Harry and the Hendersons<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p><b>Rule 4: The monster can\u2019t be a monster who is only temporarily a monster<\/b>. If it can transform back into a human, it\u2019s out. Mostly this rule is here to get rid of werewolves, easily the least intimidating and most manageable type of monster.<\/p>\n<p><b>Rule 5: You can\u2019t pick any of the classic horror stuff<\/b>. That means no Dracula, no Frankenstein, no Mummy, no things like that. Or, we suppose those of you playing at home can if you really want, but those guys are always a better idea than they are an actual thing. So let\u2019s just leave them out so we don\u2019t feel any obligation to pick them.<\/p>\n<p>Before we get to identifying the greatest horror-movie monster, there are some horror-movie-monster awards we need to hand out first.<\/p>\n<p>[<em>Note: It goes without saying, but most of these videos are very bloody and very gross.<\/em>]<\/p>\n<h2>Best Outfit<\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/IHbIf3K5pdc?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> The Mimic, <i>Mimic<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>Do monsters wear outfits? I wasn\u2019t aware they did. Monsters, I\u2019m saying, do not immediately strike me as being concerned about fashion. So this one stumped me for a bit, Shea. But then I thought: What if a creature needed to put its prey at ease, needed to keep its true, vile nature hidden so as to take its victims unawares and avoid the attention of potential predators? What if this monster were, in fact, a gigantic cockroach and therefore had good reason to care about appearances, because people instinctively find roaches disgusting, try to kill them on sight, and would be unlikely to let a roach the size of a human being anywhere near them? I give you the killer roaches from Guillermo del Toro\u2019s American film debut, <i>Mimic<\/i>, whose chitinous outer shell and wings can be arranged in such a way as to appear like a creepy dude in a raincoat. Which, believe it or not, is better than looking like a roach.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> Monsters do wear outfits, yes. Sometimes I like to think about Jason Voorhees getting ready for a long night of killing, standing in front of a mirror, wondering which tattered pair of pants or old military shirt to wear.<\/p>\n<p><span><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/grantland.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bhmm_jason.png\" alt=\"BHMM_jason\" width=\"964\" height=\"538\"  ><span>Paramount Pictures<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Imagine the Creeper from <i>Jeepers Creepers<\/i> trying to find a hat that best matches his coat.<\/p>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/grantland.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bhmm_creeper.png\" alt=\"BHMM_creeper\" width=\"1024\" height=\"523\"  ><span>United Artists<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Imagine Freddy opening a closet door and it\u2019s just full of green-and-red-striped sweaters.<\/p>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/grantland.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bhmm_freddy.png\" alt=\"BHMM_freddy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"542\"  ><span>New Line Cinema<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Monsters wear outfits, Jason. Yes. And nobody ever had a better outfit than Nomak from <i>Blade II<\/i>. Look at how great this shit is:<\/p>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/grantland.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bhmm_nomak_bladeii.png\" alt=\"BHMM_nomak_bladeII\" width=\"574\" height=\"372\"  ><span>New Line Cinema<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s so smart and I just really love all the layers. He\u2019s wearing a scarf, Jason. A SCARF. A monster who wears a scarf is a monster that, I think, deserves all the respect and admiration. He legit looks like he walked straight off the Yeezy Season runway. I\u2019ve never looked as cool at any point, even on my best day, as Nomak the monster did here. That\u2019s a very sobering thing to realize, which is what I\u2019m doing right now. Dang.<\/p>\n<h2>Most Creative Kill<\/h2>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b>: I\u2019m going to cheat a little bit here. The most creative kill came not from an actual movie monster, but from a movie cube. Have you ever seen <i>Cube<\/i>? It came out in 1997. Basically, it\u2019s about a group of people who wake up inside a Rubik\u2019s Cube\u2013like prison and have to figure a way out, except all the rooms periodically shift locations, and oh, just for fun, most of them are booby-trapped and exist only to kill you. But that\u2019s where we get the most creative kill. A guy enters one of the rooms, feels like he\u2019s doing OK at navigating the cube, and then ka-blammo, this happens:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/k8Tw4JhzORM?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>If you have to die in a movie, being turned into a bunch of cheese squares is just about the best way to go, I think.<\/p>\n<p><b>Jason:<\/b> This is easy. It\u2019s the electric-chair-lift kill in <em>Gremlins<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/wK30R1gsgGk?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>In order to pull off this cruel and ingenious murder, the Gremlins needed to:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Break into old Mrs. Deagle\u2019s home without her knowing. This step is the easiest for creatures as intelligent and devious as the Gremlins.<\/li>\n<li>Pretend to be Christmas carolers. This is harder than it appears. It requires, first, advance knowledge of Mrs. Deagle\u2019s hatred of Christmas carolers. This part still mystifies me. Then the creatures have to sing in a recognizably carol-y enough way to lure the cantankerous harridan out of her home, AND be prepared with hats, scarves, and \u2014 because the Gremlins really are sticklers for landing a sight gag \u2014 matching sheet music.<\/li>\n<li>Within only the few seconds that Mrs. Deagle is preoccupied while gaping in horror at her yowling little green visitors, the inside Gremlin must then sabotage the woman\u2019s motorized lift chair in such a way for it to accelerate uncontrollably, launching the chair and its occupant out of the window on the top floor of her home and into the street.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> You know what? I watched <em>Gremlins<\/em> last Christmas with my kids. I remembered it being this charming, fun movie. I\u2019d totally forgotten about all the murder that takes place in it. Those motherfuckers were really just out there killing A LOT of people. I mean, it wasn\u2019t as bad as when I watched <i>Scream <\/i>with my kids, which was a big-time mistake on my part, but it was surprisingly close.<\/p>\n<h2>Hardest to Vanquish<\/h2>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> Sex parasites from <i>Shivers.<\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"521\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/L6bYIbt-NrY?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>True fact: Sex is integral to the survival of the human species. Basically, we have to do it or the human race will just, like, die out. Nature, oh worker of wonders, is a problem-solver and understands this conundrum, which, I would imagine, is why sex feels really good and why the act of human sexual congress can bring people to higher levels of interpersonal understanding, strengthen emotional ties, and engage the mind, body, and soul. In other words: Sex, as a general rule, cannot be avoided.<\/p>\n<p>Which is why the sexually transmitted blood parasites from David Cronenberg\u2019s 1975 sex-horror classic <i>Shivers<\/i> are the hardest \u2014 the pun writes itself \u2014 monster to vanquish. They are essentially unvanquishable.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> This is actually a great, inarguable answer. I was going to say something like the plants from <i>The Happening<\/i>, which were releasing that neurotoxin into the air that caused people to commit suicide and were basically unavoidable and also nobody ever figured out how to get rid of them, but I think I like your answer better.<\/p>\n<h2>Best One-Liner<\/h2>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> No movie monster ever had one-liners like Freddy Krueger had one-liners. He was basically the <a href=\"https:\/\/grantland.com\/hollywood-prospectus\/the-definitive-history-of-arnold-schwarzeneggers-greatest-action-movie-quips\" target=\"_blank\">Arnold Schwarzenegger<\/a> of movie monsters. Remember <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/jdRnk68tB94\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cWanna suck face\u201d<\/a>? Remember <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/wfSm5z5A1pI\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cI\u2019m your boyfriend now, Nancy\u201d<\/a>? Remember <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/AIrxfbXQSYo\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cNo screaming while the bus is in motion\u201d<\/a>? He had so many great ones. His best one, though, was in <i>A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors<\/i>, when he hit that TV-obsessed girl with a \u201cWelcome to prime time, bitch\u201d and then smashed her head into a television. That\u2019s just some truly first-class needling.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/FyHQnzcqnlA?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>(Also: Laurence Fishburne makes a cameo in that clip. I love Laurence Fishburne so much.)<\/p>\n<p><b>Jason:<\/b> \u201cEeeEEeeeeaaAnghhhhhEeeeeAgnnnnhhhhkkkkkkkkKKK.\u201d<br \/>\n\u2014Godzilla<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"521\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ORSvf8eVa0g?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2>Best Weapon<\/h2>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> The writings of the novelist Sutter Cane, <i>In the Mouth of Madness<\/i>:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"521\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/_PFcOeM_Usk?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Best-selling horror novelist Sutter Cane\u2019s latest book causes people to go violently insane. In itself, it\u2019s not that big of a deal since that means they have to purchase the book first. The real problem is that Cane\u2019s writings are imbued with hidden messages from a race of evil gods from another dimension.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> I think this is probably the best example of the philosophical difference between you and me, Jason. A category comes up in this article about the best weapon a horror-movie monster has ever had and here you are skirting around the edges of obscurity, slow-dancing with shrewdness. And I\u2019m like, nah, the best weapon was when the Lubin rapped in <i>Leprechaun in the Hood<\/i>:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/XzWlhLSitJ8?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s a hot-ass song, my dude. IT\u2019S NOT MY PICK, THOUGH.<\/p>\n<p>My pick is definitely Leatherface\u2019s chain saw. It has to be, right? There\u2019s just no other reason a person who is not a <a href=\"https:\/\/grantland.com\/features\/blades-of-glory\/\" target=\"_blank\">lumberjack<\/a> would be holding a chain saw except to mess you up. Plus, you don\u2019t even have to see it to be scared. You just have to hear it. It\u2019s so loud and unsettling and just is a totally terrifying thing. It\u2019s the worst. It is SO the worst.<\/p>\n<h2>Most Likely to Be Able to Turn His or Her (or Its) Life Around<\/h2>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> Swamp Thing.<\/p>\n<p>I know you said no benevolent monsters, but let\u2019s be real: A true monster would never be able to turn its life around. A true monster sees people as walking Hot Pockets and just wants to eat their intestines. So I went with Swamp Thing.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lxRS8f1nkDY?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>New-horror pioneer Wes Craven\u2019s <em>Swamp Thing<\/em>, the schlocky 1982 adaption of the Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson DC Comics character, is the most underrated movie in the director\u2019s oeuvre. Which is not to say it\u2019s a good movie. The costumes appear and indeed were cheap. There are numerous continuity errors and the writing is bad. But Craven got the idea for <i>A Nightmare on Elm Street <\/i>while working on the movie, his first Hollywood picture, so there is that.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, the titular Swamp Thing was once the botanist Alec Holland, who was working on creating a plant-animal hybrid for the government. An attack by a shadowy mercenary group wrecks his lab and sends him fleeing into the swamps, his body doused in chemicals and burning with an eerie flame. Transformed into the hideous Swamp Thing, he still \u2014 as the scene above shows \u2014 retains his personality and intelligence. So, like, all he needs is a cure for looking like human food mold and he\u2019s totally good to return to society.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> You\u2019re probably right. But I\u2019m just a sucker for a man who\u2019s a rebuilding project, I suppose. Give me Pinhead from <i>Hellraiser <\/i>for this category. I just really feel like if I hung out with him for long enough, I could convince him to chill. Plus, I\u2019m very into the whole suburban goth thing he has going on. He\u2019s secretly the most handsome of all the horror-movie monsters. That should matter here.<\/p>\n<h2>Most Misunderstood Movie Monster<\/h2>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> It\u2019s Dren from <i>Splice<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/44jmGgZe6QQ?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Dren, the product of a genetic experiment combining human and animal DNA, did not ask to be created. She did not ask to experience the loneliness of being the only thing (thank god) like herself on earth or to biologically mature at an astronomical rate that was totally out of proportion with her mental and moral development. So, while truly a monstrosity, she is basically innocent.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea:<\/b> This is the only time I\u2019m mad about the rules we set in place. Jaws from <i>Jaws <\/i>would\u2019ve been perfect here. He wasn\u2019t a monster. He was just hungry, which, as far as I can tell, is the whole point of being a shark.<\/p>\n<h2>Best Backstory<\/h2>\n<p><b>Jason:<\/b> The Xenomorphs from the <i>Alien <\/i>series.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/LSHAgmGR-Ig?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Forget for a moment that the <i>Alien <\/i>prequel <i>Prometheus <\/i>was kinda garbage-y from an entertainment standpoint.<span data-footnote-id=\"2\" data-footnote-url=\"#fn-2\" data-footnote-content=\"&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;Editor&amp;#8217;s note: How dare you.&lt;\/i&gt;&lt;\/p&gt;\n\"><sup id=\"ss-2\">2<\/sup><\/span> Here is the backstory for the Xenomorphs established by the film: Alien scientists<span data-footnote-id=\"3\" data-footnote-url=\"#fn-3\" data-footnote-content=\"&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http:\/\/www.movies.com\/movie-news\/ridley-scott-prometheus-interview\/8232&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;One of whom was Jesus Christ&lt;\/a&gt; (yes, that Jesus Christ).&lt;\/p&gt;\n\"><sup id=\"ss-3\">3<\/sup><\/span> whose mission calls for them to sacrifice their lives in order to seed barren worlds with life using a viscous black goo, and who are probably the source of all life on earth, establish a facility on a faraway world that is subsequently hastily abandoned. It is discovered by human beings, one of whom becomes impregnated by the black goo, eventually giving birth to a cthulhu-like beast that itself goes on to impregnate one of the original alien scientists with something we later find out is the precursor to the Xenomorphs. Now that\u2019s a backstory.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> It is quite a backstory, yes. But I like my backstories to be easily explainable and easily understandable, particularly in a horror movie, because you need to be able to explain everything important in no more than, say, three seconds, because that\u2019s usually about how long you have to react if you want to survive. So if I\u2019m sitting in my house with a person who has zero knowledge of anything and a killer walks in the front door, I need to be able to say something like, \u201cYo! That\u2019s the guy who went crazy and killed his sister! He\u2019s gonna kill us, too! RUN!\u201d and have that be the end of it. I don\u2019t have time for questions. I don\u2019t need someone like, \u201cWait a second. Did you say Jesus was an alien scientist?\u201d because when you start asking questions is when you die. So for that reason, give me Michael Myers\u2019s backstory. It\u2019s nice and linear.<\/p>\n<h2>Most Evil Monster<\/h2>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> Satan, <i>The Prophecy<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"521\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/XhT9KtQb0ac?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s Satan, yo.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> OK. You got this one. I concede.<\/p>\n<h2>Least Intimidating Movie Monster<\/h2>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> Lubin from <i>The Leprechaun <\/i>movies.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/TY0WYSt7JMA?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a leprechaun, yo.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> WHAT? No, Jason, no. You\u2019re trending the right direction \u2014 it\u2019s a smaller guy \u2014 but it\u2019s not Lubin. Lubin was legit terrifying. And stout. He looked like a little ball of muscle. He\u2019d be a tough out.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s how I\u2019m thinking about this: Let\u2019s say it\u2019s just you versus a horror-movie monster in an empty room and only one of you is leaving alive (or as alive as a movie monster can be, anyway). If it\u2019s you in that room and Lubin walks in? Nah. Nope. There\u2019s no way you\u2019re not intimidated by him. He\u2019s just a scary, creepy-looking dude. The only guy who could walk into that room and you\u2019d be like, \u201cOK, I\u2019m good here, I\u2019m not the guy who\u2019s dying\u201d? Chucky from <i>Child\u2019s Play<\/i>. Look at him:<\/p>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/grantland.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bhmm_chucky.jpg?quality=100&#038;strip=all\" alt=\"BHMM_chucky\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\"  ><span>United Artists<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>You could literally pick him up and just hold him away from your body and you\u2019d be 100 percent safe. No way it\u2019s anybody but Chucky for this category. No way any movie monster is less intimidating than him.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s enough awards, I think. Let\u2019s get to the 10 best horror-movie monsters.<\/p>\n<h2>10. Ganush, <i>Drag Me to Hell<\/i><\/h2>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> You know what? I feel like maybe I got this one wrong, but maybe I didn\u2019t. Here\u2019s the thing, Jason: Whenever you and I work on one of these things, I always end up having to watch a few movies I missed from the past. <i>Drag Me to Hell<\/i> was like that. I didn\u2019t see it when it came out, and were it not for researching this article, I likely never would\u2019ve seen it. But I watched it. And I loved it. It\u2019s such a good scary movie, in that it\u2019s scary and gross and occasionally unsettling but also fun and enjoyable and with parts you never even thought you wanted to see. To wit, there\u2019s a YouTube video called \u201cTo Hell (2009) \u2013 Mouth Moments (Funny),\u201d and it\u2019s just all the parts of the movie when something crazy happens that involves a mouth, one of which is Ganush <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/xJpEha5A6gA\" target=\"_blank\">vomiting bugs into the mouth of the woman she\u2019s haunting<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Some monsters that I expected to make this list didn\u2019t. There\u2019s no Pinhead, there\u2019s no Sil from <i>Species<\/i>, there\u2019s no Seth Brundle from <i>The Fly<\/i>, there are no super earthworms from <i>Tremors<\/i>, there\u2019s no fish monster from <i>The Host<\/i>, there are no cave dwellers from <i>The Descent <\/i>(one of my favorite scary movies of the last 10 years), there\u2019s no Creeper from <i>Jeepers Creepers<\/i> (another of my favorites, and a wildly underrated franchise), there\u2019s no Pennywise from <i>It<\/i> (WHAT????), there\u2019s no <i>Slither<\/i>, there\u2019s no <i>It Follows<\/i>, there\u2019s no Chucky from <i>Child\u2019s Play<\/i>, THERE\u2019S NO CANDYMAN (FOH HOW DID CANDYMAN NOT MAKE IT??????). But Ganush makes it. I don\u2019t know how, but she makes it. And I couldn\u2019t be happier about it.<\/p>\n<h2>9. Samara, <i>The Ring<\/i><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/WA3B-AZFJIU?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> If someone gives you a cursed videotape, don\u2019t watch the tape. After you don\u2019t watch the tape, continue to not watch the tape and repeat not watching the tape for the rest of your life. <em>If<\/em> you should happen, somehow, to watch the tape, then, within seven days, copy the tape and give the copy to someone you don\u2019t like, making sure not to mention it\u2019s cursed.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> I would give TF outta this tape to people. There\u2019s no way I\u2019m dying if the only thing I have to do not to die is have someone else die. That\u2019s a little thing called Darwinism, my friend. Same thing if I\u2019m running from a killer. I love you, Jason, but if it\u2019s me and you and we\u2019re running from someone who\u2019s trying to kill us both, I am 100 percent kicking you as hard as I can in the knee so you\u2019re hobbled so the killer can catch you and I can escape. That\u2019s just how it\u2019s going to happen. I\u2019m sorry.<\/p>\n<h2>8. Michael Myers, <i>Halloween<\/i> Series<\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/MuG14CT-qds?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> He\u2019s always seemed like the coldest, most ruthless, most black-eyed killer of all the movie monsters. I think it\u2019s because he never talks (same as Jason Voorhees) and also because he wears a mask even though it\u2019s not necessary, which I\u2019m sure says something about his general psychosis (Jason\u2019s mask was functional, in that by the end of the series it was very clear he was not a human anymore).<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s second in <a href=\"http:\/\/bloody-disgusting.com\/news\/3316822\/10-deadliest-horror-movie-villains-kill-count\/\" target=\"_blank\">total kills<\/a> (Jason is the leader with more than 300 confirmed kills; Myers has 111; Lubin from <em>The Leprechaun<\/em> has 45; Freddy Krueger has 42; Pinhead has 35) and first in consistency (nobody is more on-brand). He\u2019s my favorite horror-movie killer, so I\u2019d have liked to have seen him land closer to the second or third spot, but eighth feels right, him hiding back here in the bushes waiting to drive that butcher knife into your sternum.<\/p>\n<h2>7. The Babadook, <i>The Babadook<\/i><\/h2>\n<p>https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=szaLnKNWC-U<\/p>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> <strong>[THIS ONE CONTAINS SPOILERS.]<\/strong> If you find a strange and mysterious children\u2019s book in your home, think twice before reading it to your child. If, after reading said strange and mysterious book to your child, you find yourself experiencing unexplained events and weird dreams, leading you to destroy the book, only to find that the book has reassembled itself and is waiting for you on your stoop, then seriously consider whether you may have, in fact, written the mysterious book yourself and are repressing the memory of doing so.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> I just watched this movie. As soon as it was over I was like, \u201cWell, I guess I\u2019m never reading another book to one of my kids again.\u201d Also, \u201cBabadook\u201d is just a great fucking name for something that\u2019s supposed to be scary.<\/p>\n<h2>6. Leatherface, <i>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre<\/i> Series<\/h2>\n<p>https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=R_NH1-NIMhk<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> I still remember watching the remake at the movie theater in 2003. I was in college. And I was really feeling like it was a good idea to take the girl I was dating. But it was not a good idea. It was a super-bad idea. There was that one part when Leatherface hangs the guy on the meat hook and the girl tries to get him off it but she can\u2019t and so she\u2019s trying to slide him off and he keeps dropping back down on it. That remains the closest I\u2019ve ever come to throwing up in a theater. AND THAT WAS JUST THE REMAKE OF THE SCENE, which is inferior to the original version, in which Leatherface hangs a girl on a meat hook and then carves up a guy with a chain saw in front of her as she dangles and screams and dangles.<\/p>\n<p>I went on this haunted hayride thing one time in San Antonio. It was real cool. You paid $10 or so, then you just sat on this platform that was pulled by a tractor through the woods and all of these scary things would happen along the way. Michael Myers was there. Jason was there. Freddy was there. But nobody inspired the same sort of fear that Leatherface did when he came running out from the brush with his chain saw just BRRRRRRRARAAARRRRRing. People were literally jumping off the ride to run away. I\u2019ve never forgotten that. (I didn\u2019t run away, because I\u2019m <i>not <\/i>a coward. I just closed my eyes real tight and grabbed hold of whomever it was that was sitting next to me because actually, yes, I am a coward.) I think maybe it\u2019s because he\u2019s the one guy out of all of these movies who could actually exist in real life. Or maybe it\u2019s the sound of that chain saw starting up. Or maybe it\u2019s his mask made of human skin. It\u2019s probably some combination of all of those things (but mostly him possibly being real). Either way, he deserves to be on here. He probably deserves to be higher, truthfully.<\/p>\n<h2>5. Sex Parasite, <i>Shivers<\/i><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"521\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/MCseP01zg7w?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> In <i>Shivers<\/i>, a bioengineered parasite runs rampant through an upscale Montreal apartment complex, transforming the building\u2019s bourgeoisie inhabitants into an orgiastic horde of zombies who hunger for fresh flesh to infect. After the last holdout is organized into submission, the DTF-infected surge into the streets to turn out Montreal proper and, one expects, the world.<\/p>\n<h2>4. Freddy Krueger, <i>Nightmare on Elm Street<\/i> Series<\/h2>\n<p><b>Shea:<\/b> As far as iconography goes, Freddy is either at the very top or he loses out only to Jason Voorhees. I mean, he had a fucking song with Will Smith, that\u2019s how popular he was in the \u201980s.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"521\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/BfPONqyaI9Y?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>(The best thing about this song is the disbelief Will expresses about Freddy wearing a sweater even when it\u2019s hot outside. I suppose this is a valid concern.)<\/p>\n<p>One of the things I\u2019ve always liked about Freddy is his sense of self-awareness. He\u2019s a showy guy, and he\u2019s not above <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Mq2yONl3yII\" target=\"_blank\">hamming things up when need be<\/a>. I think that\u2019s important, at least some of the time. And yet, still, he\u2019s a master killer, and he for sure is inescapable (he\u2019ll either kill you in your sleep, or you\u2019ll go crazy and die from not getting any sleep, which is a real thing I didn\u2019t know could happen). He\u2019s got that great face, that great glove, that great voice, that great attitude, that great everything. It feels wrong having him fourth. It just feels wrong.<\/p>\n<h2>3. The Thing, <i>The Thing<\/i><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/p35JDJLa9ec?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> You\u2019re not paranoid if everyone around you really is an alien in disguise that\u2019s out to kill you. The alien monster in <i>The Thing <\/i>could be anything: your wife, your husband, your dog, your best dude, pre-diebeetus Wilford Brimley, anyone.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> Very surprised the Thing managed to sneak this far up the list.<\/p>\n<h2>2. Jason Voorhees, <i>Friday the 13th<\/i> Series<\/h2>\n<p><b>Shea: <\/b>He. Is. A. Relentless. And. Perfect. Killing. Factory.<\/p>\n<p>He has the greatest horror-movie kill of all time (when he snatched that girl up while she was in her sleeping bag and slammed it against the tree), he has great accessories (his mask, of course, but also his machete), he has a very strong backstory (died as a kid, returned to kill a bunch of people because he was mad about that and also about his mom getting killed), he quietly had a sense of humor, or if not that then a sense of irony (remember when that one boxer tried to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=lKQVHClcUfs\" target=\"_blank\">fistfight Jason<\/a> and so he just stood there and let the guy punch himself out and then hit him with a left cross that literally knocked his head off his shoulders? Or the time <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=09yOZsZuxMY\" target=\"_blank\">he was on <em>Arsenio Hall<\/em><\/a>?), and he was essentially unkillable. I will argue forever that he should\u2019ve finished first. He\u2019s the obvious winner, Jason.<\/p>\n<p>Alas \u2026<\/p>\n<h2>1. The Alien, <i>Alien <\/i>Series<\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"694\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/U2XTmjjhC5U?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><b>Jason<\/b><strong>:<\/strong> The alien Xenomorph MOUNTS YOUR FACE, FORCES ITS EGG DEPOSITOR INTO YOUR MOUTH AND DOWN INTO YOUR STOMACH, AND LAYS ITS EGG INSIDE OF YOU, WHERE IT GROWS UNTIL IT BURSTS OUT OF YOUR CHEST, BEGINNING THE CYCLE ANEW. THIS IS THE BEST MONSTER IN MOVIES.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shea:<\/strong> Oh snap. I forgot about that part. Out of all the ways we\u2019ve seen someone die in this column, having an alien deposit an egg in your stomach via your mouth (GROSS!) and then having that alien explode out of your chest (GAH!) is probably the least desirable way to go. Please continue.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jason:<\/strong> Right. And to make things even scarier, the alien\u2019s fictional life cycle and biology is actually mirrored in real-life science. The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/news\/speaking-of-science\/wp\/2015\/05\/27\/say-hello-to-the-dementor-wasp-it-turns-cockroaches-into-zombies\/\" target=\"_blank\">dementor wasp<\/a> injects its prey with a venom that turns it into a zombie, allowing it to be devoured alive. And a newly discovered wasp species lays its eggs inside a stink bug, where the juveniles <a href=\"http:\/\/www.usnews.com\/news\/science\/news\/articles\/2015\/10\/22\/wasp-that-kills-stink-bugs-found-could-help-fruit-orchards\" target=\"_blank\">eat the bug from the inside out<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><b>Shea<\/b>: Fucking science, man.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> Shea Serrano and Jason Concepcion<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/grantland.com\/hollywood-prospectus\/happy-halloween-the-best-horror-movie-monsters\/\" class=\"button purchase\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Halloween is on Saturday. We really like Halloween. 1 And so we are going to use the upcoming holiday as an excuse to talk about horror-movie monsters for the next 4,500 words. But the whole point of this isn\u2019t just to meander around the graveyard, it\u2019s to figure out who the greatest horror-movie monster is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":887099,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3798,1031],"tags":[11948,8950],"class_list":{"0":"post-887098","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-halloween","8":"category-happy","9":"tag-halloween","10":"tag-happy"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887098","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=887098"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887098\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/887099"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=887098"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=887098"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=887098"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}