{"id":850646,"date":"2025-05-23T19:11:47","date_gmt":"2025-05-24T00:11:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/23\/these-adults-have-a-unique-impact-on-kids-lives-they-need-more-support\/"},"modified":"2025-05-23T19:11:47","modified_gmt":"2025-05-24T00:11:47","slug":"these-adults-have-a-unique-impact-on-kids-lives-they-need-more-support","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/23\/these-adults-have-a-unique-impact-on-kids-lives-they-need-more-support\/","title":{"rendered":"These adults have a unique impact on kids\u2019 lives. They need more support."},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

This story originally appeared in <\/em>Kids Today<\/a><\/em><\/strong>, Vox\u2019s newsletter about kids, for everyone. <\/em>Sign up here for future editions<\/a><\/em><\/strong>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

We often hear about the isolation of contemporary American family life \u2014 the parents forced to go it alone<\/a>, the kids stuck inside<\/a>, the disappearing village<\/a>. But there\u2019s another trend pushing American childhood in a more communal direction: Grandparents are playing a larger and more enduring role in kids\u2019 lives.<\/p>\n

For starters, there\u2019s a demographic shift at play. As birth rates fall, the average number of grandchildren per grandparent has fallen as well<\/a>. Susan Miller, a 67-year-old grandma in the Washington, DC, area, told me that while her mom had 13 granddaughters, she has four grandchildren. Having fewer grandkids \u201cgives you more time with them,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Longer life expectancy also means kids actually get more years with their grandparents than they used to, even though people are having kids later in life<\/a>, according to Ashton Verdery, a sociologist at Penn State University. These trends are \u201clikely leading to deeper relationships between grandchildren and grandparents,\u201d Verdery said.<\/p>\n

Miller and her husband spend the summers in Minnesota with their grandkids, cooking, crafting, roughhousing, and putting on plays and puppet shows. Her 11-year-old granddaughter has \u201cmy husband really wrapped around her finger,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll dress up,\u201d Miller said. \u201cHe\u2019ll pretend to be a ballerina.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beyond participating in impromptu ballet performances, grandparents provide a host of benefits for kids. Across cultures, spending more time with grandmothers and grandfathers is linked to better educational and mental health outcomes, Verdery said. They can also offer kids a fresh perspective and sometimes come at child care with a more relaxed outlook than their stressed-out adult children, said Susan Kelley, a professor emerita of nursing at Georgia State University who has studied grandparents raising grandchildren.<\/p>\n

But grandparents are also increasingly stepping in<\/a> to plug holes in America\u2019s crumbling child care system, a role they\u2019re not always excited about filling. Experts say policymakers should embrace reforms that allow grandmothers and grandfathers to spend time with their grandkids because they want to \u2014 not because their families have no other choice. <\/p>\n

\n

\n

Why grandparent relationships are changing<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Close relationships between grandparents and grandchildren are far from new. \u201cIntergenerational caregiving by grandparents, especially grandmothers, reaches back to the dawn of our species,\u201d Tobi Adejumo, a doctoral candidate at the University of Colorado Denver who has studied grandparent care<\/a>, told me. Multigenerational households have long been common in many communities, with Asian American, Black, and Latino families all more likely than white ones<\/a> to have grandparents and grandkids under one roof. <\/p>\n

Still, the idea that grandparents used to provide a lot of child care isn\u2019t necessarily accurate, as Faith Hill reports at The Atlantic<\/a>. In the early US, people often became grandparents while still raising their own young kids, limiting how much time they could spend with grandkids. <\/p>\n

But today, smaller families and later childbirth mean grandparents are less likely to still be actively parenting. While the falling birth rate may be bad news for older adults who want lots of grandkids to spoil (or for those who end up not having grandchildren at all<\/a>), it also means grandmothers and grandfathers have more quality time to spend with each child. While white grandfathers born in 1880 had an average of nine grandchildren<\/a>, grandpas born in 1960 have fewer than six. The drop for Black men has been even steeper, from around 11 to around six. <\/p>\n

The way grandparents and grandchildren relate to each other is also shifting. Older adults are more active than they once were, making them more able to play with their grandkids, said Donna Butts, executive director of Generations United<\/a>, a nonprofit that works to connect children and older people. <\/p>\n

They\u2019re also richer \u2014 prior to the 1960s, older age groups had the highest rates of poverty, but now they have the highest rates of wealth, Verdery said. So not only can grandparents buy their grandkids presents<\/a>, but they can also take them on outings and travel to visit them more easily. <\/p>\n

Meanwhile, skyrocketing child care costs and parents\u2019 increasingly demanding jobs have led to an increased need for help from grandma and grandpa, said Jennifer Utrata, a sociologist at the University of Puget Sound who studies grandparenting. More grandparents are responding to this need by providing child care on a regular basis, sometimes stepping in for multiple days per week, a phenomenon some call \u201cintensive grandparenting<\/a>.\u201d <\/p>\n

While grandparent care has historically been more common in communities of color and immigrant communities<\/a>, it\u2019s now on the rise among white, middle-class families, Utrata said. One 2023 poll found that more than 40 percent of working parents relied on their children\u2019s grandmother for child care, Hill reports<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Miller, the DC grandma, often cares for her grandchildren in the summer and on visits, including staying with them while their parents took a two-week trip. Her granddaughter becomes \u201clike a child, almost\u201d rather than a grandchild when her parents are away, Miller said. \u201cShe\u2019s comfortable with us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

\n

Grandparents aren\u2019t a policy solution<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

In addition to taking some pressure off parents, grandparents can have a big impact on kids\u2019 worldview, experts say. They can serve as role models but may also be less focused on work than parents in the middle of their careers, and more able to make kids the center of attention, Kelley said.<\/p>\n

Spending time with grandparents can also transform a child\u2019s view of aging. People who have close relationships with grandparents will often say they \u201cdon\u2019t look at older people as icky\u201d but rather as \u201cvibrant,\u201d Butts said.<\/p>\n

Of course, grandparents can also offer high-quality, trusted care at a time when that\u2019s hard to come by<\/a>. But regular caregiving can also be hard on grandparents<\/a>, even if they\u2019re in good health. The demands of intensive grandparenting fall disproportionately on grandmothers, who can struggle to balance their own needs with those of their grandkids, Utrata said. <\/p>\n

Some grandparents retire early to help with grandchildren, which can be a financial strain, especially in low-income families, Adejumo said. Many grandparents pay for necessities like food and diapers while watching their grandkids, adding to the financial stress.<\/p>\n

Vice President JD Vance has suggested<\/a> that grandparents could \u201chelp out a little bit more\u201d as a way of addressing the high cost of day care. But \u201cwe should not be foisting our child care challenges on an older generation,\u201d Utrata said. Grandparents want to help out, but they want it to be a choice, not \u201cthe only way that their daughters are going to be able to work for pay.\u201d<\/p>\n

Affordable, accessible child care would help grandparents be involved in their grandkids\u2019 lives without pressure or exhaustion, Utrata said. Paid parental leave would also help since many grandparents are called in to be with babies when their parents have to return to work, Adejumo said.<\/p>\n

In California and other states, grandparents can receive subsidies for taking care of grandchildren, but they are often too low to cover the real cost of care, Adejumo said. One sentiment she\u2019s heard a lot from grandparents: \u201cI would really appreciate a living wage.\u201d <\/p>\n

There\u2019s a growing recognition in American society that making sure parents are healthy and financially stable also benefits kids. Now, experts say, it\u2019s time to extend that understanding to grandparents, too. <\/p>\n

\n

\n

What I\u2019m reading<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

The Trump administration\u2019s tariffs are indeed hitting baby goods<\/a>, with stroller manufacturer UPPABaby announcing price hikes<\/a>. Trump, meanwhile, says<\/a> all costs are down, except for \u201cthe thing you carry the babies around in.\u201d He also says<\/a> tariffs might mean American kids have \u201ctwo dolls instead of 30.\u201d<\/p>\n

Federal grants for STEM education<\/a> and mental health support<\/a> in schools have been terminated, which advocates say compromises education and services for kids.<\/p>\n

\n

However, after a legal challenge<\/a> and widespread criticism<\/a>, the administration is no longer planning to eliminate all funding for Head Start<\/a> in its proposed budget.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

My older kid and I just read the first book in the Lightfall series<\/a>, about a young girl searching for her missing grandfather, a pig-wizard, in the mysterious realm she calls home.<\/p>\n

\n

\n

From my inbox<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Thanks so much to all of you who responded to my question a few weeks back: What do the kids in your life want to be when they grow up? What do they want to do in the world? If you\u2019d still like to weigh in, we\u2019ve created a Google Form<\/a> to make it easier \u2014 feel free to share! And as always, you can still reach me anytime at an********<\/span>@*<\/span>ox.com<\/span>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Anna North
Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This story originally appeared in Kids Today , Vox\u2019s newsletter about kids, for everyone. Sign up here for future editions . We often hear about the isolation of contemporary American family life \u2014 the parents forced to go it alone, the kids stuck inside, the disappearing village. But there\u2019s another trend pushing American childhood in<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":850647,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2622,43],"tags":[11107,5160],"class_list":{"0":"post-850646","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-adults","8":"category-these","9":"tag-adults","10":"tag-these"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/850646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=850646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/850646\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/850647"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=850646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=850646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=850646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}