{"id":840347,"date":"2025-04-10T16:12:12","date_gmt":"2025-04-10T21:12:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2025\/04\/10\/when-done-right-brutal-honesty-can-benefit-friendships\/"},"modified":"2025-04-10T16:12:12","modified_gmt":"2025-04-10T21:12:12","slug":"when-done-right-brutal-honesty-can-benefit-friendships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsycanuse.com\/index.php\/2025\/04\/10\/when-done-right-brutal-honesty-can-benefit-friendships\/","title":{"rendered":"When Done Right, Brutal Honesty Can Benefit Friendships"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all been through it. Telling a friend something they may not want to hear. Maybe a friend is dating someone who treats them poorly, or they did something that upset you. Or maybe it\u2019s something smaller, like an outfit that just doesn\u2019t fit. Should you be honest all the time, or are there times when brutal honesty is mean-spirited? It\u2019s not always so easy to tell.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Brutal honesty prioritizes truth over the feelings and sensitivity of the person who may be on the receiving end of it, according to<\/span> Sabrina Romanoff<\/span><\/a>, a clinical psychologist in New York.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt means being more rooted in sharing how you genuinely perceive a situation than being a caretaker to the person who may feel hurt by your message,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s honesty without tact, consideration, or discretion \u2014 as no editing or filters to soften the message are attached to it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Some of us dislike being brutally honest more than others because we just don\u2019t know how the friend on the other end will receive the thoughts or advice that we\u2019re providing. However, there are some benefits in doing so.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Read More:<\/span> <\/span>Healthy, High-Quality Relationships Matter More Than We Think<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

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Brutal Honesty Is Good for Friendship<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n

According to<\/span> Mark Vernon<\/span><\/a>, a psychotherapist, and author of The Meaning of Friendship, when deciding whether or not brutal honesty is beneficial for a friendship, you need to know whether you\u2019re being honest with yourself at the same time as you\u2019re being honest with your friend.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBrutal honesty doesn\u2019t work when you don\u2019t like something in a friend, but really it\u2019s your problem rather than their problem,\u201d says Vernon.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, if your friend is dating someone who\u2019s married, and you\u2019re upset about it because you have some concern about a problem in your own marriage and you\u2019re not honest about the fact that your own problem is what\u2019s bothering you, then brutal honesty isn\u2019t beneficial, says Vernon.<\/span><\/p>\n

But if you\u2019re truly concerned with your friend\u2019s well-being and clear about your own motivation, then brutal honesty can be helpful to your friendship.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe hope is that they\u2019ll see that you\u2019re concerned with them and that you don\u2019t have mixed motives,\u201d Vernon adds.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The Downside of Brutal Honesty<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n

The bottom line, says Vernon, is that brutal honesty helps a friendship when your innermost motivation is concern for the person to whom the honesty is directed. If this isn\u2019t the case, you need to take a closer look at why you\u2019re being honest in the first place, says Vernon.<\/span><\/p>\n

On the other hand, Romanoff contends that sometimes brutal honesty can be misinterpreted, and the person providing it risks being rejected for their opinions. The person being brutally honest should be prepared to be chastised for their thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBrutally honest people tend to be judged as insensitive, arrogant, and in turn, may be avoided, leading to isolation and loneliness,\u201d says Romanoff. \u201cMany radically authentic and brutally honest people are misunderstood and are not universally liked.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s the people who are the most skilled at concealing their opinions that tend to be the most well-liked by those around them. When you\u2019re skilled at sugarcoating the truth, you\u2019re more likely to keep people happy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis way of operating also hurts friendships because without a delicate balance between honesty and tact \u2014 relationships lack depth and closeness,\u201d says Romanoff.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re<\/span> brutally honest<\/span><\/a> with a friend and they know you\u2019ve provided that honesty because you genuinely care about their wellbeing, that\u2019s when a friendship can thrive. This is when your friend knows that you were willing to go through what can be an uncomfortable situation because you care about them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Friendships are different than almost any other type of relationship because there\u2019s nothing else keeping you together beyond the bond that you\u2019ve built. In a romantic relationship, you might maintain the relationship because of your shared home or your children and with family because of your shared familial ties. But friendships are entirely chosen, and that\u2019s why nurturing them and choosing the right course when it comes to honesty is so important.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Read More: <\/span>The Key Ingredients to Healthy Romantic Relationships<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

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Article<\/span> <\/span>Sources<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n

Our writers at<\/span> Discovermagazine.com<\/span><\/a> use peer-reviewed studies and high-quality sources for our articles, and our editors review for scientific accuracy and editorial standards. Review the sources used below for this article:<\/span><\/p>\n