That house carries distant memories of peace and happiness. Emma now stays in the parking lot for about an hour after arriving before going into their house. Ambrose found a local joint where he goes for exactly two drinks; one to drown out the day’s stress and another to prepare him for what is to come once he goes inside their house.
Maybe it’s the numerous kids playing in their estate or the ones crying in the silence of the night as though they had waited for their spotlight all day. Or perhaps it’s the numerous events- weddings, kids’ birthdays and baby showers that their peers keep inviting them to. Sometimes it’s the increasingly annoying questions and remarks from relatives at gatherings.
“Heeh mmekaa sana,” some aunties tell Emma.
“Is there a problem?” The more sensitive ones ask them.
“You know in our culture a man can have a second wife,” some uncles suggest.
“Don’t worry, these things are about God’s timing,” the nicer aunties say before engaging the mothers in the family differently as though it were an exclusive club that Emma couldn’t understand.
Earlier on, she would have told them the truth, but her energy was already drained from having the same conversation with Ambrose. She didn’t see the point of justifying her decisions to a whole crowd. There was nothing they could say to her that she hadn’t already been told.
“You’ll regret this decision when you’re older and can no longer bear children,” she’s frequently told.
“You’ll not feel like a complete woman,” others remark.
“Have you tried therapy? You must have some childhood trauma,” some tell her as they try to understand her stand.
“You know these feminist movements are the ones brainwashing you into accepting unnatural ideas,” Emma reads online.
Ambrose has now become their mouthpiece. Emma thinks he has a folder or journal where he writes down arguments to persuade her to change her mind on the matter.
Emma vividly remembers their second date when potential lovers start mapping out their hypothetical lives together. She had long decided what she wanted and didn’t want for herself.
“Oh, I am really enjoying your company, but before we take this any further, I need you to know that I don’t want any kids,” Emma had told Ambrose.
“I also don’t want any in the near future,” Ambrose had replied.
“I don’t want any even in the distant future,” Emma had told him.
“Oh, never?” Ambrose asked.
“Yes. I want to be childfree,” Emma replied.
It had fascinated him, but Emma now knows that he took it as a conquest, in the way men think women are playing hard to get, and if they tried harder, they could convince them of anything. Despite reminding him many times that she was adamant about being childfree, Ambrose stayed with her.
That was Emma’s biggest non-negotiable, and if he was on board with it, they could work out. She was right, at least for three years. They had a happy home, were great friends and lovers, excelled at work and had a bunch of side quests. They were the perfect couple.
That was until Ambrose started feeling like something was missing without a child.
“I’ll be okay with even just one,” he told Emma.
“I never ever gave you a reason to think that I would or have changed my mind about this,” Emma cried.
She felt betrayed. They were on the same page, and now Ambrose had turned on her, but somehow she was made to look like the bad one.
A year of the same conversation is more than enough to turn anyone into a bitter and sad person. Their history couldn’t carry them through the turbulence.
“I am moving out at the end of the month,” Emma told Ambrose.
He would have pleaded with her because he loved her dearly, but he knew that if he remained childfree, he would always wonder ‘what if’ and that would hang over them forever.
Check out more stories
He Wanted Children, She Didn’t Anymore. Can Love Survive When The Life You Imagined Crumbles?
My Mother-In-Law Brought Another Woman For My Husband Because I Refused To Give Him Another Child
We Broke Up Because He Didn’t Want Children
For Better Or Worse: He Stayed With His Wife Despite His Kinsmen’s Objections
Singlehood Series
Read More