As she ponders what she wants for Christmas, Jane* has a simple wish – to see her sons.
Jane is a patient at the Bellevue Hospital, and, like many, she longs for interaction with loved ones, especially at this time of year.
“Christmas is special to me because it’s a time to spend with family, friends and loved ones, even strangers. I just love Christmas,” she said. “I do enjoy Christmas here with the other patients, because they are really beautiful people.” Though visits are infrequent, even small gestures leave a lasting impact.
“A friend visited me two or three months ago. He gave me some money and some crackers and promised to come back,” she recalled. Though he has not returned, she said the visit meant a great deal. Even a message can lift her spirits.
“When I send my son a message and he sends one back, it feels amazing. It makes me very happy,” she said gleefully. But the emotional toll can be heavy.
“I feel sad when I don’t see them. I would like to see them more often,” she admitted.
The hospital’s CEO, Suzette Buchanan, said the Christmas season, in particular, can be emotionally challenging for patients.
“Family contact is therapeutic. It reinforces a patient’s sense of identity, gives them hope, and supports recovery,” she explained. “During a season when people expect to see family and friends, separation can feel even more acute.” She said that Christmas disappointments are no different from other milestones such as birthdays.
“Many rarely, rarely, rarely see family at all. Some families fear that if they visit, we will ask them to take their relatives home. Others simply don’t want to be bothered.”
While the hospital makes every effort to create a supportive environment, Buchanan said true healing often comes from social connection. However, she noted a stark reality. Some residents have lived at Bellevue for decades, even after being medically discharged, due to the absence of family support.
“For some residents, family members have been absent for 20, 30, even 60 years,” she said. “We become the family they know. The 675 staff members are nurses, doctors, patient care assistants; we are their family they know.”
She added that with this reality and the strength of the bond shared at the facility, it is not uncommon for residents to refer to staff in familial terms.
“Sometimes they call me ‘mommy,’ ‘aunty,’ or the older residents have younger patients who they call ‘daughter’. That’s how deeply those bonds have formed.”
FILLING THE GAP
To help fill the gaps left by absent families, the hospital organises activities to foster belonging.
“We sing, we dance, we bake. Recently, we had a banquet and there, they modelled and we dined together as a family,” Buchanan said.
Buchanan stressed that living with a mental health condition does not erase a person’s emotions.
“They understand love, Christmas, and the importance of having family around. It affects them deeply, and during this period some may relapse,” she said. Buchanan noted that during a recent walk-through the wards, patients were already wishing her a Merry Christmas and sharing Christmas memories and wishes.
“One told me she longs for gungo rice and peas with pigtail or ham bone. They remember Christmas with their grandmothers. Those are memories they still have.”
Buchanan acknowledged that stigma and unresolved trauma often keep families away. She reasoned that the last memory some families have of their ill relatives is them being in a manic state, possibly causing damage to property or individuals.
“Mental illness is still misunderstood and some families still have shame, misinformation, and emotional fatigue still affects many families,” she said,
The hospital, she said, is equipped to facilitate reconnection. The recently renovated Leon Bailey Family Room, named after the Jamaican footballer following his $500,000 donation, includes teleconferencing facilities.
“If you’re overseas, you can contact the social worker and set up an appointment to see and speak with your family member and learn about their progress, even after decades apart,” she explained.
“Recovery is far more likely when family is involved. Family is meant to be there during sickness, bad times, and good times. When that support is missing, it’s truly unfortunate,” Buchanan ended.
*name changed to protect identity