Ask Margar-etiquette about Launching a Young Adult

Dear Margar-etiquette,

My 18-year-old is graduating from high school and heading off to college in the fall. I don’t know that he is ready to launch. What sort of things can we work on over the summer to make sure he is ready for semi-independent living?

Nervous Dad

Dear Nervous Dad,

First of all, take a deep breath—you’re not alone. This is one of the most common concerns I hear from parents, and it makes perfect sense. Launching a young adult into the world is exciting, but it can also feel like trying to toss a paper airplane in a windstorm.

But here’s the good news: you’ve still got time, AND the goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress. This is where the rubber meets the road in parenting. It’s no longer about doing for them but helping them learn to do for themselves.

In my Adulting Series, I encourage teens and young adults to focus on four foundational areas over the summer to build confidence and independence:

1. Own your calendar.

Encourage your son to start managing his own schedule—appointments, deadlines, work shifts, and social plans. Let him practice now, while there’s still a safety net.

2. Get familiar with finances.

Teach him to budget, track spending, avoid overdrafts, and understand credit. Even a simple weekly budget and the habit of checking a bank app can make a big difference.

3. Learn to feed yourself (and others).

Beyond ramen—have him plan, shop for, and cook a few basic meals. It builds confidence, saves money, and might even make him popular in the dorm.

4. Clarify your core values.

This is the real anchor. When he’s on his own and faced with new choices, knowing what matters most—integrity, responsibility, kindness, faith, or curiosity—can guide him better than any advice you could text him at midnight.

And perhaps the most important thing you can offer him this summer? Practice space. Let him try, let him fail, and be nearby to encourage, not fix. Independence grows best in soil rich with small, safe experiments.

Excited for you,
Margar-etiquette

#LITA (Love is the Answer)P.S. Don’t worry if he burns the pasta or overdrafts once (or twice)—it’s all part of the process. The goal isn’t to send off a finished adult, but a young man who is learning how to become one.