Martin was like a breath of fresh air after the year Phoebe had had. She had been facing health challenges and was in and out of the hospital. After months of ineffective fixes, Phoebe had major surgery to address her issue. What Phoebe didn’t anticipate was people treating her like a fragile flower.
She knew they meant well, but she hated feeling like her health challenges defined her. That was all her friends, family and colleagues talked to her about. When Martin sent her a message on Instagram, she quickly jumped at the chance of talking to a stranger who was unaware of her situation.
It wasn’t hard to have a conversation with Martin either. They shared many interests and he was hilarious. The only downside to his humour was that her laughter came with physical pain as she recovered from the surgery.
After weeks of wonderful conversations, they decided to meet. It felt like they had been old friends. There wasn’t an awkward moment during the first date. Phoebe liked that they had mutual friends but that didn’t impact how they interacted with each other.
As they were having their meal, they tried out the day’s dessert; Martin was impressed by the cake.
“I should get this for my daughter Anatolia. She is such a sweet tooth,” said Martin.
“That’s very thoughtful of you. How old is she?” Asked Phoebe.
“She turns eight in a few months,” said Martin.
“Still with the mom?” Asked Phoebe.
“No. That didn’t work out but we co-parent,” Martin responded.
That was sufficient information to keep pursuing the budding friendship with Martin. Phoebe admired his love for his daughter. She respected him for coming clean about having a child given the stories she had heard of men lying about not having families.
A few weeks later, Martin invited Phoebe out. He was already having drinks with his friends. When Phoebe arrived she found that she knew some of the people in the group. It was a lovely night filled with laughter and banter. You could tell the friends had known each other for a long time and had spent enough time together from the conversations.
At around 4 a.m., Martin told Phoebe that he needed to leave.
“Do you want to leave right now so that I can drop you home or will you take a cab later?” Martin asked her.
“Why are you leaving so early?” Asked Phoebe.
“I need to take the family to church,” said Martin.
Phoebe interpreted that as he needed to drop his daughter in church but she saw his friends exchange looks. Martin looked impatient so she had to quickly decide whether to leave with him or enjoy the night with the remaining company. She chose to leave.
The following day Martin texted her in the evening. They talked about their day. Martin talked about taking his daughter to church and having his car washed as he waited for the service to end. Phoebe thought that was the moment to clear her doubts because the looks Martin’s friends exchanged made her uncomfortable.
“So your daughter is old enough to go to church alone?” Phoebe asked.
“No, she goes with her mother,” said Martin.
“I take it you also took them both to church?” Asked Phoebe.
“Yes, I did.”
“Did you pick them up from her place?” Asked Phoebe.
“I’m beginning to feel like I’m being interrogated,” said Martin.
“Not really. I’m just trying to understand the dynamic,” said Phoebe.
“We still live in the same house,” said Martin.
“Wait, what? I thought you said you’re not together anymore,” Phoebe replied.
“We are not. We just live in the same house because I wasn’t going to foot bills in two households or pay child support,” Martin replied.
“I may not know much but that’s not how the law works in such situations. You wouldn’t have to foot her bill,” said Phoebe.
“Look, I mean no disrespect but you don’t know my child’s mother. I know that would end up being my responsibility. Living in the same house saves me financially,” said Martin.
Phoebe retreated. She didn’t feel like indulging in that conversation further but she was bothered. On one hand, she felt like Martin could have lied about it given the optics but he didn’t so he could be telling the truth. On the other hand, it didn’t make sense how one lives with his ex in the same house unless something was still going on between them.
She tried to downplay her fears for a while but she wasn’t comfortable with Martin’s situation. She tried getting more information from his friends, but they were all dodgy or asked her to talk to Martin about it. When she talked about it with her friends, they all told her it was a red flag. She eventually decided to take a step back from her relationship with Martin.
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