Someone please buy me this glass mouse pad

Mouse pads are one thing. Mouse pads made of glass? Quite another. This, at least, is what I’m assuming based on the promotional materials for the Razer Atlas, Razer’s first glass mouse pad. “Absolute functionality and durability,” Razer’s website proclaims. “Experience pure polished precision,” the press release demands of me.

The $99.99 tempered glass Atlas has an anti-slip rubber base, is available in black or white, and is 0.19 inches (five millimeters) thick. But the main idea behind a glass mouse pad, or so I gather, is that you can glide a mouse across it very, very fast.

It’s not like I have a problem with the speeds afforded by whatever piece of foam is currently on my desk. But I just keep looking at this thing, and I feel like gliding a mouse across it must be paradise. It might be the closest you can get to gliding a mouse through thin air. Maybe it’s like using a mouse on ice, but the ice isn’t cold? I’m not sure, but I need to find out ASAP.

The main issue I can think of is sweat. Sorry, folks, but I’m going to bring it up. This seems like it could get very gross very quickly if you’re perspiring while blasting people in Overwatch. (Is that a thing? I don’t really play Overwatch.) Even if you’re wearing long sleeves, I assume that the occasional bump of a damp pinky against the surface of this thing could leave an unseemly constellation of blotches.

Now, my preliminary research has revealed that there are gaming-specific sleeves, which cover your arm and fingers, that you can buy to combat this problem. I’m not confident that I could game in one of these for a prolonged period of time without feeling like a member of the Blue Man Group or something, but to each their own.

Oh, unless someone wants to buy me this pair of sleeves with what I think is an enraged panda on them. I will play Civ VI in these all day. With the glass mouse pad.