— YouTuber and physician Dr. Mike analyzes concussions, testicular injuries, and more
by
Mikhail Varshavski, DO
February 2, 2023
In this video, Mikhail Varshavski, DO — who goes by “Dr. Mike” on social media — reacts to medical-related TikTok videos.
Following is a partial transcript of the video (note that errors are possible):
Varshavski: Show me your statistic before you make wild statistics!
“Day 33 of kicking trees till I get shins of steel.” Oh my God. No way. I’m all for training your shins, but why hit such a sharp object that’s going to break your skin? Bacteria is going to set in and create a septic arthritis.
Whoa! So cool. Not medical at all, but I love the break. Oh, oh, oh! No!
“Just in case anyone wanted to know what my fingerprint looks like.” Aw, it’s a heart. I love it. It probably makes the best Valentine’s Day cards.
Okay. We have a big trampoline and I don’t know what that is bouncing. Oh, it’s going to fly. It’s going to fall … ooh. Honestly, that’s concussion. Neck spasm, whiplash injury, contrecoup injury, lots of problems. You’ve got to be careful with head injuries, man. This is bad because not only did he get hit in the head and his neck like snapped, but then he landed and he hit his head again.
Patient: Doctor, I think I have a fear of long words.
Varshavski: Me too.
Doctor: It sounds like a classic case of Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.
Varshavski: No way that’s a real word.
Doctor: I have just the specialist for you. Her name is Dr. Ann. Ann. T. Disestablishmentarianism.
Varshavski: Okay. That’s … this is not real.
Doctor: She lives over by Lake Chargoggagoggman-chauggagoggchaubunagung-amaugg.
Varshavski: Wait, what is that stethoscope that he’s got on? It looks like it’s from the 1910s.
Okay. We got a basketball. It’s bouncing. He is dodging it. Dude, that was close. Oh! You got to be careful with testicular injury there. You could have a serious problem.
“The hospital wondering why nobody uses that.” Push for help. There is a spider. Oh, yeah. You don’t want to push for help.
TikToker: I don’t need that much help.
Varshavski: Yeah. The hospital has got to do a better job at cleaning that up.
Okay. What’s happening here? It’s a rodeo. They’re pulling her. Oh, no. These things are terrible. Okay, I don’t like this at all. Oh, the centripetal force on your brain is just so bad. Like it’s just really unnecessary. She is going to feel horribly dizzy. The endolymph fluid that’s within your semicircular canals and the little crystals that are in there that help you gauge position and have your equilibrium going, they keep going through inertia. As a result, you start spinning and feeling like you’re continuing to move. So, I don’t envy her.
TikToker: I just woke up, but I’m about to eat three cloves of garlic for like a natural antibiotic.
Varshavski: Okay. I mean … dude. Dude, why can’t you just stop and say, “I like three cloves of garlic and I think overall it’s probably a healthy thing to do?” Because I’d be with it.
TikToker: Then I have a few spoonfuls of probiotic coconut yogurt. I normally add a little bit of cinnamon for good luck.
Varshavski: Good luck? At least that one’s not medically inaccurate. Fine, add cinnamon to your yogurt for good luck. I’m with that clip.
TikToker: This is a powder to help with your gut.
Varshavski: No, it’s not.
TikToker: It’s immunoglobulin concentrate. I don’t really know.
Varshavski: Yeah. Exactly. Repeat that again.
TikToker: I’m going to try chlorophyll again. I think I want to get a cleaner brand, but to detox the body and the liver.
Varshavski: Detox the body? We all need to detox the body. How have we been alive for generations without detoxing our bodies? It’s incredible. It’s incredible what these supplement stores sell to people. My curiosity and questions to individuals like this is when you walk into a supplement store and you see 100,000 items that have ridiculous claims about cleaner skin, and this and that, and yet all those problems still exist in the people going to the store, aren’t you skeptical? If I prescribed a patient who has acid reflux a prescription drug and it never helped them, you don’t think I’ll ask some questions?
Something bad is about to happen. I feel it. Medically, I’m concerned. Oh, nope. He just went straight for the butt drop. See, that’s not going to feel great on his sacrum.
“7 Seconds to Detect Stroke/Alzheimer’s/Brain Problems.” I love it because none of these things are related to one another at all, except they happen up here. “Overlap index and middle finger. Touch your thumb and ring finger. If the little finger can move freely, the brain is healthy.” My pinkie finger is moving, but after reading that and listening to that, my brain is no longer healthy.
Ooooh! There is going to be a mean skin burn there.
Skater: I love helmets. I love helmets!
Varshavski: I love helmets too, man. They protect our brain.
Man: I have been drinking my own urine for 17 years. You know what’s wrong with you as soon as you drink your morning pee. “Oooh, too much salt. Too much caffeine. Ha ha ha.”
Varshavski: Why don’t you just control the amount of caffeine you take in? Or the amount of salt you take in? Why do you need to taste it?
“The universe telling me signs I don’t want to hear.”
Holistic nutritionist: Running all over my For You page lately has been, “eat papaya seeds to get rid of parasites.” “I did this parasite cleanse and I have been pooping worms.” I’m a holistic nutritionist and I haven’t done a parasite cleanse in ages, so I’m thinking is this what the universe is trying to tell me?
Varshavski: No. It’s what you were searching, so the universe just gave it back to you because that’s how the algorithm works. It’s not predictive.
Holistic nutritionist: Eighty percent of people have parasites.
Varshavski: Eighty percent of people have parasites?! Show me your statistic before you make wild statistics!
“3 steps to get glowing skin without touching your face.” Sleep well, hydrate well, eat nice, enriched foods. Like beets. “Glide up and down your neck to your ears.” You mean get a massage? “They stimulate the nerve endings that lead to the release of endorphins.” Cool, so … yeah. If you get a massage, you’ll feel good and I don’t know if that’s considered medical advice or not.
PlumSoju: To avoid straining your eyes while working, you should try the 20-20-20 rule.
Varshavski: I love the 20-20-20 rule. Every 20 minutes, for 20 seconds, look 20 feet away.
PlumSoju: For every 20 minutes you work, then you look at something that’s like 20 feet away and then watch anime for 20 hours.
Varshavski: I did not expect that. No, actually watching anime for 20 continuous hours is not good for the eyes.
Mike Varshavski, DO, is a board-certified family physician and social media influencer with more than 10 million subscribers.
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