Is Food Your Love Language? Here Are 28 Ways BA Staffers Say ‘I Love You’

I’ll say it—Valentine’s Day is a food holiday. Sure, on the surface it’s all about ooey gooey romance, but speaking practically, it all comes down to food: boxes of fancy chocolates, bottles of bubbly, expensive prix fixe meals where every course is somehow red. Right up there with Thanksgiving and National Pizza Day, Valentine’s Day is a food holiday, and that makes us here at Bon Appétit an authority.

And sure, going out to eat on Valentine’s can be tough—between the lack of reservations and overrated holiday menus—but showing love with food is something BA staffers feel passionate about year-round. So passionately, in fact, that when we asked on Slack for people’s favorite food-y acts of care, nearly everyone on our team had a story to tell. Maybe it was cooking an intense meal for a beloved friend, or a romantic partner being especially thoughtful with the takeout order, or just taking time to stop for a bite to eat with someone. 

So to help you get in the mood for February 14, we gathered this list of 28 romantic and platonic food gestures from our staff (for every day of this month), from traditions to rituals to long-running inside jokes to random acts of kindness. Try them on a friend, a crush, or anyone you want to feel special and well-fed. 

1. I only break out the pasta machine for special occasions. I made my best friend a cozy bowl of cacio e pepe with fresh linguini the night before he took the LSAT, and rolled out a ribbony tagliatelle for the first night I ever cooked for my partner. Fresh pasta is definitely a lot of work, but it’s my favorite way to say “I care enough about you to make my arms sore for days.” —Alma Avalle, digital production associate
2. My spouse’s culinary capabilities begin and end at boiled eggs. Once, when I was sick, she told me she would make me anything I wanted to eat. I requested my ultimate comfort food—mashed potatoes. She googled a recipe and brought me the most soothing, revivifying meal of my life. She even figured out what a ricer was. —MacKenzie Chung Fegan, senior commerce editor
3. I’m a firm believer in little-treat culture. My boyfriend and I live near each other, so when it’s nice out he’ll stop by in the middle of the work day for a quick snack break with a little pastry—a delicate madeleine with a golden slice of pineapple embedded in the center, or a soft-in-the-center chocolate chip cookie—and we’ll share it in the park nearby. As an added bonus, he’ll listen to me talk about the way the pastry tastes, looks, and makes me feel for the half hour we’re together. —Sam Stone, staff writer
4. When they do the dishes or unload the dishwasher without being asked. —Kelly Janke, director, culinary production
5. When they simply take care of making a dinner reservation without me even having to think about it or be involved. —Chris Morocco, test kitchen director
6. When someone orders Taco Bell for me and they remember to get a crap ton of mild sauce because it’s my absolute fave. —Julia Duarte, art assistant
7. When the delivery person writes a nice message on the bag for you. —Hazel Zavala, art director
8. When my partner makes me coffee and brings it to my bedside table. —June Kim, vice president of digital video
9. When they take the time to learn how to make something from my culture! The past month has been devoted to my partner creating countless iterations of miso soup. —Jen Osaki, creative producer
10. Early in our relationship, my girlfriend and I started quoting the “gave me cookie got you cookie” scene from the show New Girl whenever someone gets food. Much like Nick from the show—who has a meltdown while gifting his friend Schmidt a pastry treat—we’ve become less and less intelligible the longer the bit has gone on. We’ve been told it makes us nearly insufferable to be around. How romantic. —A.A. 
11. When they allow me to eat most of the crust of the pie or leave me the bone of a rib eye or pork chop to gnaw on. —Kate Kassin, editorial operations associate
12. For me, it’s, “Hey, I went to the bakery you like and I bought you a loaf of bread.” —Adam Moussa, associate director, social video
13. When my partner lets me take the last spring roll when there are three of them and we each ate one already. —Esra Erol, senior social media manager
14. I like to give my plants encouraging compliments when I water them. —Karen Yuan, lifestyle editor
15. With few exceptions, I don’t really eat animal flesh. Meanwhile, my boyfriend loves a chicken sandwich or a burger fresh off the flat grill. It’s the cutest thing ever when he eschews meat and surprises me with a bowl of Tuscan vegetable soup from the nearby Italian market, a tofu-filled banh mi we saw in half and devour, or a homemade sheet-pan dinner covered in toasty pierogies and kimchi. These little acts just say, Girl, I might not agree with you, but I fully see and support you. Ain’t that love? —Ali Francis, staff writer
16. When I’m having a super busy day, my husband surprises me by knocking on the door with lunch. And he almost always brings along an open jar of chili crunch with a spoon in it. —Emily Farris, senior commerce writer
17. I also love getting to be the one to squeeze the lemon wedge on a dish. –K.K.
18. My partner and I love cracking our fortune cookies together and comparing our fortunes. —E.E.
19. Airplane meals—the meals someone readies for you when you walk through the door from a trip. My mom does this and prepares a specific favorite dish whenever we arrive (mine is chicken korma; my brother’s is apple pie). My partner started doing this for me too. —Olivia Quintana, associate social media manager
20. My dad used to wake up at 6 a.m. to go pick up fresh bagels every time I had friends sleep over. I never asked for the bagels. They were always just on the counter when we walked downstairs. —Zoe Denenberg, associate editor
21. Love is your family overseas rearranging your entire suitcase to better fit all the homemade jam, almond cookies, chocolate wafers, sesame sticks, tea biscuits, loose-leaf teas, dried apricots, pistachios… —E.E.
22. When my husband worked for a big tech company that got a wild delivery of crazy new snacks every week, he’d squirrel away things he thought I’d like into his backpack, and then do a big presentation reveal for me when he got home. —Kendra Vaculin, food editor
23. This week I baked cornbread and cut half of it into little cubes to feed as treats to the dog. And that is peak love. —Z.D.
24. When he pours me water even if the carafe is closer to me. —Shilpa Uskokovic, food editor
25. It’s a small thing: My husband fills my thermos with cold water every night so I have fresh water to drink as soon as I wake up. —Vivian Jao, recipe editor
26. When we have dinner parties, he always goes to the store the day before and lugs back the heavy stuff, like bottles of water, seltzer, wine, etc. —S.U.
27. When they’re busy, my partner often just forgets to eat. It’s tough considering their girlfriend is a food journalist. When we’re apart, sometimes my love language is just sending a text around noon to say, “It’s lunchtime, you’re on my mind, and the world’s not ending—you’re just hungry.” —A.A. 
28. Shortly after my future wife and I moved in together, I woke up one morning to an empty apartment and found this note (pictured below) left by her. —Dan Siegel, senior director, creative development